15 Extremely WTF Dating Games That Actually Exist
agramuglia
Published
02/04/2021
in
Funny
Dating games, even before the COVID-19 pandemic kept everyone in-doors, were incredibly popular vehicles for lonely people to simulate the experience of dating a partner. They're also just plain fun to play, even if you're in a relationship, due to their compelling characters and rich gameplay. Which dating games, however, are the best?
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1.
Ever want to fulfill your dream of dating a bunch of dads? Dream Daddy is one of those self-aware dating sims where you get to date one of several promising middle-aged men. The game might be more geared to either a female and/or LGBTQA audience, but the game still comes packed with memorable characters, really goofy dialogue, and a lot of dad jokes. -
2.
Another unorthodox dating sim, Hatoful Boyfriend is a game where you get to date birds in a high school setting. Yes. Birds. It’s as absurd as it sounds, in part because it’s just that: an exercise in pure absurdity. It’s a goofy experience that is designed to be as silly as possible. Of course, we recommend dating the school doctor, Shuu, who won’t just happen to murder you as part of a medical experiment. Nope. Not at all. -
3.
Hunie Pop is a combination a dating-sim and a puzzle game. You meet girls as the ultimate pick-up artist, seducing them with your incredible...puzzle-solving abilities. While this seems like a silly concept for a game, the absurdly funny character writing and amazing art style really elevates this one. We recommend you go with Audrey, who is by far the most foul-mouthed and hilarious character in the game. -
4.
Katawa Shojo centers on a boy with an arrhythmic heart, sent to a special boarding school for other people dealing with disabilities. The five main love interests of the game are all dealing with something – deafness, blindness, missing limbs, massive burns – but what works so well is that, as you get to know the characters and come to date them, their story arcs are not defined by their disabilities, but coexist with them. It’s a beautiful game with a lot of heart-felt, tragic moments. -
5.
Monster Prom, on the other hand, is a goofy story about dating monster girls – and monster guys, if that’s what you’re looking for. The game is cartoonish and weird, but, much like Hunie Pop, elevated by some really funny and goofy writing. While the game at first seems like a simple dating sim, it actually comes with several hidden paths to explore. Also good, you can play with multiple players, meaning that you and a group of friends can all get rejected by cartoon monsters. Yay. -
6.
Half Past Fate is a non-linear social experience game, where you play through a variety of scenarios, playing multiple characters in simple but dynamic social puzzles. What makes the game so effective is how each scenario, divided across time, influence one another, crafting a narrative that comes to a satisfying culmination. -
7.
Tokimeki Memorial is one of the first major dating sims to have ever been created. While it’s certainly dated, it’s worth playing if you ever want to dive into the history of the dating sim genre. It’s an incredibly nonlinear series, allowing players to make choices that influence how the events play out. Almost all dating sims to come after Tokimeki Memorial draw from it as a source of inspiration. -
8.
Arcade Spirits is a dating simulation/visual novel. You work at a local arcade on its last legs. Over the course of a few months, you end up dating someone in your social circle – or no one, if you choose. You end up altering the path the arcade travels, helping build it up or sell it for quick cash, depending on what you want. The game’s story is surprisingly emotional. Of course, the game is also popular among the LGBTQA community for its positive portrayals of queer relationships and gender-fluidity. Even if you’re outside of that community, however, the game has a lot to offer. -
9.
Stardew Valley is a farming sim with a hugely immersive dating subplot. You get to date one of twelve potential love interests in the game, helping them along their journey. You can marry them, have kids with them, wake up and accept gifts from them – the works. You do this all while working on your farm. Stardew Valley is regarded as one of the best indie games of the last decade, so it’s unlikely this is the first time someone has told you that you should play it. So go play it. Stop reading this list and play Stardew Valley. -
10.
Max Gentlemen Sexy Business is not a game you ought to treat as high art. A rather comedic take on the dating game genre, you are in Victorian London, forced to rebuild your business after rivals break the very foundation of your economic status from under you. Once again aided by incredible comedic writing, this game is both a business tycoon game and a smutty romance sim. Expect some comedic – and steamy – sexual adventures abound in this game. -
11.
Catherine and its remake, Catherine Full Body, is a brilliant game by Atlus. You’re a hopeless guy, torn between your girlfriend Catherine and this other beautiful girl...named Katherine. During the day, you play a social simulation game, while at night, you solve complex puzzles in your dreams. Catherine Full Body adds more content, making it the far better purchase. -
12.
To The Moon is an odd entry on this list. It isn’t technically a game where you date anybody. Rather, you play a group of scientists who go into a dying man’s mind to create artificial memories, to make him believe he fulfilled his every wish. This brings you down an incredibly sad and emotional journey, watching this man’s romance with his wife go in reverse. It’s a short romantic RPG that culminates in some of the saddest moments in gaming history. -
13.
I Love You, Colonel Sanders is a real game developed by KFC where you get to date Colonel Sanders. It’s an obvious parody of the visual novel genre, yes, but it’s also surprisingly hard to get Colonel Sanders to like you. The game has some surprising levels of depth, but the real appeal here is that...it’s a Colonel Sanders dating sim. If that doesn’t sell you on this ridiculous game, I don’t know what will. -
14.
Sunrider Academy might be the personification of everything a dating simulation game can be. You run a club at your school, find a bunch of cute girls who may or may not like you, and you date them. If you want a traditional dating sim done right, this is absolutely the game for you to play. It’s cute, simple, and direct. -
15.
The Song of Saya is a totally normal game where you date a normal girl named Saya. There is nothing odd or disturbing about this game. It is not about a boy who, following an accident, sees everything as purely grotesque gore, save for the enigmatic girl named Saya. It is not about dating some Lovecraftian horror who drives people into madness when they look at her. No. It is a normal game. Fun for the whole family. We are not warning you that, if you are easily nauseated or disturbed, you should not play this game, where you date walking nightmare fuel.
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